Pick Me
January 20, 2009 04:00 AM
Well here it is - "Pick Me," the first, fully completed project of 2009! ...Pst, I started it late 2007, but don't tell anyone! Actually, it would be accurate to call this a reincarnation, as the project looked rather different when I first addressed it. I wasn't content (really, not even close to pleased) with the initial direction. My mind must have been exhausted then, as I could think only of Adam & Eve and my current work with silhouettes. So, naturally, I cut out a silhouette of myself as if I were reaching upward for an apple, and stitched it on there. That was it. My indifference conjures images of a glue stick-wielding-kid ripping images from magazines, slathering them with stickiness and slapping them to any surface available, without thought for composition, texture, atmosphere...etc. This piece wasn't meant to be so straightforward and BORING. So I hammered a nail into my wall, placed the thin branch upon it, and left it hanging there for months and months. Haunting me, mocking me, teasing me...so cruel it was (Yoda talk is allowable at 3AM). Finally, an idea came to me. And another. As is my customary way of creating, I jotted down these ideas, visualized them, and then let them dance in my mind...for many more months. Whilst they pranced about, new thoughts developed, others were shed, challenges were addressed, and plans were made to see this piece come to a new realization. And so it began:
First, the fabric is silk. Silk, as most anyone would know or assume, DOES NOT LIKE SPRAY PAINT. Not one bit. Unfortunately, I lost my mind for a few minutes this past summer, and attempted to spray the apple pattern on this gorgeous kimono remnant. I immediately realized my error, as I watched the paint attempt to escape its prison and bleed beyond the boundaries:
But wait! …It stopped. No...no...NO! Now it's wrinkling...ah!...what's it doing now?! ...Oh no. *touches fabric* - stiff as cardboard. Crap!
It was horrific, really. Witnessing the death of a once smooth and flowing surface. Like gears in motion suddenly halted because someone has thrown a wrench into the works, my heart momentarily stopped and my mind panicked. My hands responded, pulling that wrench free and tossing it away. Wheels are in motion again. There's always another way! The solution? A stamp. Of course. Thank you, Betsy Bannan, for introducing me to Speedy Stamp Blocks! From there on out, "Pick Me" was quite enjoyable to piece together.
And it came together. Bit by bit, a day here, another there. It may have taken an absurd amount of time, but it is complete.
Pick Me:
iPhone or Blackberry? - Apple says, "pick me!"
Coke or Pepsi? - Coke spouts, "pick me!"
Obama or McCain? - "pick me!" "pick me!" "pick me!"
So many layers. The original Adam and Eve thoughts are still present. Then I added the Apple (er, Elppa - it's reversed, so no infringements here!=)) logo, as this and a few other projects playing in my mind address the "sex sells" idea in advertising. The two budding red flowers are standard Apple earbuds. With an air of enticement, mystery and allure, they hauntingly repeat a whispering, "pick me...pick me...pick me..." Leading into life and relationships - the seduction, the desire to be chosen, the excitement of the unknown...
So many possibilities. All those apples sure do look the same. We all know they are not. Which one to pick? And once picked, we are given a taste of something new, something unique. Another decision arises - are we content with the crisp skin of this apple, the sweet aroma, the mouth-watering taste, or are we curious about the others? It's a difficult, sometimes rewarding, sometimes painful way of being. We, each of us, have gone picking and have been picked at some point in our lives. But, when is it time to stop returning to the tree? When to stop listening to those little voices inside our heads, saying "I should go," or "this should end?" (I couldn't help the Missy Higgin's, 'Where I Stood' reference). How is one to know when they have the "best" apple...especially when best is just an abstract notion? And what if we do have the best, or did, but we let it go, believing there's something better out there? Do we then rely on another notion - fate- to set things right?
Or we toss these notions and hold what we have - feel its presence, the contours of its shape, see the deep, vibrant red, freckled pale yellow, smell its sweetness, taste its essence, nurture it and enjoy every bite right down to the core. Decide to see the best in what we have; decide to take fate into our own hands. Only then will we truly be happy beyond contentment.
And so, like others out there, I listen. I have heard the Sirens. I have tempted fate. I have sailed and I have wrecked. And I have learned to hear beyond the tempting Siren songs - those whispers of fear and uncertainty - to a place where hearing becomes seeing, and everything is clear. Listen to that clarity. It's the heart's desire. Our True North. Set a course.
Happy picking.
First, the fabric is silk. Silk, as most anyone would know or assume, DOES NOT LIKE SPRAY PAINT. Not one bit. Unfortunately, I lost my mind for a few minutes this past summer, and attempted to spray the apple pattern on this gorgeous kimono remnant. I immediately realized my error, as I watched the paint attempt to escape its prison and bleed beyond the boundaries:
But wait! …It stopped. No...no...NO! Now it's wrinkling...ah!...what's it doing now?! ...Oh no. *touches fabric* - stiff as cardboard. Crap!
It was horrific, really. Witnessing the death of a once smooth and flowing surface. Like gears in motion suddenly halted because someone has thrown a wrench into the works, my heart momentarily stopped and my mind panicked. My hands responded, pulling that wrench free and tossing it away. Wheels are in motion again. There's always another way! The solution? A stamp. Of course. Thank you, Betsy Bannan, for introducing me to Speedy Stamp Blocks! From there on out, "Pick Me" was quite enjoyable to piece together.
And it came together. Bit by bit, a day here, another there. It may have taken an absurd amount of time, but it is complete.
Pick Me:
iPhone or Blackberry? - Apple says, "pick me!"
Coke or Pepsi? - Coke spouts, "pick me!"
Obama or McCain? - "pick me!" "pick me!" "pick me!"
So many layers. The original Adam and Eve thoughts are still present. Then I added the Apple (er, Elppa - it's reversed, so no infringements here!=)) logo, as this and a few other projects playing in my mind address the "sex sells" idea in advertising. The two budding red flowers are standard Apple earbuds. With an air of enticement, mystery and allure, they hauntingly repeat a whispering, "pick me...pick me...pick me..." Leading into life and relationships - the seduction, the desire to be chosen, the excitement of the unknown...
So many possibilities. All those apples sure do look the same. We all know they are not. Which one to pick? And once picked, we are given a taste of something new, something unique. Another decision arises - are we content with the crisp skin of this apple, the sweet aroma, the mouth-watering taste, or are we curious about the others? It's a difficult, sometimes rewarding, sometimes painful way of being. We, each of us, have gone picking and have been picked at some point in our lives. But, when is it time to stop returning to the tree? When to stop listening to those little voices inside our heads, saying "I should go," or "this should end?" (I couldn't help the Missy Higgin's, 'Where I Stood' reference). How is one to know when they have the "best" apple...especially when best is just an abstract notion? And what if we do have the best, or did, but we let it go, believing there's something better out there? Do we then rely on another notion - fate- to set things right?
Or we toss these notions and hold what we have - feel its presence, the contours of its shape, see the deep, vibrant red, freckled pale yellow, smell its sweetness, taste its essence, nurture it and enjoy every bite right down to the core. Decide to see the best in what we have; decide to take fate into our own hands. Only then will we truly be happy beyond contentment.
And so, like others out there, I listen. I have heard the Sirens. I have tempted fate. I have sailed and I have wrecked. And I have learned to hear beyond the tempting Siren songs - those whispers of fear and uncertainty - to a place where hearing becomes seeing, and everything is clear. Listen to that clarity. It's the heart's desire. Our True North. Set a course.
Happy picking.
|
New Year
January 01, 2009 08:13 PM
Nearly a year has passed since I last posted to the Blog. Tsk, tsk. I believe the last entry, 'Damned Whisper,' was honored with a "You Make My Day Award" by fellow artist, Patrick Gannon. Then, it would seem, I vanished from the face of the Earth. I assure you there was never any space travel beyond that of my own spacing out. I neglected my site because I did not produce art in 2008. Maybe it's the mixed drinks and vodka from last night's celebrating, but I do believe this realization makes me feel rather ill. The past year began so slowly, picking up to rush past me with imperceptible velocity. I was all the while aware of my lull in creativity - difficult to avoid feeling such a vast emptiness in ones life. I neglected my art; thus, in a huge, horrible way, I neglected myself. It is for reasons such as these, I believe, that we have New Year Resolutions!
There exists already a list of such resolutions - I wrote it about a month ago, needing something concrete to keep me focused. To be honest with myself, it's much too long and demanding for me to handle in one year. My eldest brother, Chris, has wanted a painting from me for years. Many years. I included "start Chris' painting" on this list, knowing that an entire painting feels daunting, and small steps are what I need. Of course, my brother posted a note beside this item, stating, "move to top of list" - funny guy! There is no order to the list, but there are items I consider to be absolute necessities this year: give time to my art each day, maintain this website, contact galleries/venues for exposure, work toward being a self-sustaining professional artist (advice in these last two areas would be welcomed and appreciated!)...and post to this blog frequently.
So here it is - the first posting of 2009!
A TOAST! To taking my life into my own hands - the risks ahead, the thrills, successes, learnings (this gets to be a word now), re-igniting the creative fire within, to feeling connected and whole...
To Happiness.
There exists already a list of such resolutions - I wrote it about a month ago, needing something concrete to keep me focused. To be honest with myself, it's much too long and demanding for me to handle in one year. My eldest brother, Chris, has wanted a painting from me for years. Many years. I included "start Chris' painting" on this list, knowing that an entire painting feels daunting, and small steps are what I need. Of course, my brother posted a note beside this item, stating, "move to top of list" - funny guy! There is no order to the list, but there are items I consider to be absolute necessities this year: give time to my art each day, maintain this website, contact galleries/venues for exposure, work toward being a self-sustaining professional artist (advice in these last two areas would be welcomed and appreciated!)...and post to this blog frequently.
So here it is - the first posting of 2009!
A TOAST! To taking my life into my own hands - the risks ahead, the thrills, successes, learnings (this gets to be a word now), re-igniting the creative fire within, to feeling connected and whole...
To Happiness.
Damned Whisper
January 18, 2008 02:40 AM
This weekend a friend brought up his frustration about having creative energy at the most inopportune times. Being an artist, I could relate to his feelings. It's difficult to juggle work and everyday life with an art career, or creative urges. Art is work, and it demands a good deal of energy. After a long day, there is no time to start a project; when a free day comes around, I feel too exhausted to even reach for a pencil (or needle and thread, as of late). But I find that as soon as I have the pencil in hand, I am rejuvenated and eager to create. Just have to push through those mental barriers!
Tonight, my website is my project, and it is the current exhaustion of graduate applications that threatened to keep me from my long-overdue update. Thank goodness I am excited about sharing my latest pieces!
I made a special trip to Blacksburg on Saturday in order to document artwork that remains in my Newport studio. It was a tricky process without decent lighting and with 12 dead camera batteries, but I ended up with some nice photos. A few pieces didn't have a single worthwhile shot, so I'll have to return another day better equipped. With this documentation session, my website is now up to date. I have changed the "Fabrics" gallery to "Silhouette" because my latest direction with fabric is more whimsical and not addressing gender issues. Also, there is an entirely new SCULPTURE gallery, so check it out!!
I also drove to Kentucky on Tuesday to deliver my portrait, Cosmetic Appeal: Alluring to the Claypool-Young Art Gallery at Morehead State University. I love the gallery space and am excited about attending the closing reception on February 20. Busy busy ; )
Now for the art!
I fell in love with the patterns and textures of Japanese silk kimonos and obis while still at Tech. I contacted a woman in town whose daughter lives in Japan and periodically ships her bins and bins of these most GORGEOUS fabrics. Needless to say, I was excited when I received an invitation to sift through her endless selection, and ran over as soon as I had a class-free day. I found some incredible pieces, and it took a lot of willpower to withhold buying more (I suppose the fact that I don't have bottomless pockets helped a bit). The two pieces below include my first kimono and obi purchases.
Damned If You Don’t continues my exploration of gender socialization while bringing religion into play. I wanted to maintain the presence of the male gaze with the silhouettes to comment on the pressure women experience when approached by a man she refuses. Some guys are understanding gentleman, while others consider a woman's ability to assert her will to be a threat to their masculine power. Are we thus cursed and despised for having free will? Simultaneously, the piece addresses the Christian beliefs with which I grew up. There are guidelines and rules to follow in Christianity, boundaries that should never be crossed. Sins. While in college I experienced people and groups inspiringly fervent in their beliefs and adherence to these guidelines. I admired them for being so intensely zealous and committed to their beliefs. While I craved a place to belong, I knew it wasn't there. There was a simple phrase my friend Ben had said during one of our discussions about religion... something along the lines of "you're a grocery store Christian" (that's definitely not it, and he would make fun of me for being so close but so far yet again). In other words, I walk the aisles of Catholicism and take off the shelves what it is I like about the religion, but leave behind that which I don't care for. To me, life is a gift from God, not a Chinese finger trap that tempts with excitement, only to snare you the moment you play the game. A gift, to me, is something one gives with the expectation that it will be experienced and enjoyed. I don't believe the gift of life is intended to be squandered on worry and guilt; rather, I believe it is given to us to do with what we will, and the thanks/gift we give in return is our journey of self-discovery, desires, goals, ambitions, and ceaseless will to live the lives we are meant to live. Indeed, we are damned if we do not.
Whisper is the first project of many to come in my new direction. I have been so focused on thoughts pertaining to gender, sex, self-confidence, self-esteem...etc, that I have found it refreshing to listen to my mind when it's not in deep contemplation. This work is the result of listening to myself and connecting with my spirit/essence. It's an attempt to capture the intangible, and thus was an enjoyable challenge. It is also the most...honest? piece depicting who I am. Which sounds silly, considering that all the silhouettes in my work are of myself, and yes, my art reveals my thoughts and emotions honestly. But this piece shares something deeper and more personal - a place within myself to which only I go and rarely reveal to others. It's quiet and calm there. Peaceful. So still in silence. Yet on the breeze is the hint of a whisper.
Tonight, my website is my project, and it is the current exhaustion of graduate applications that threatened to keep me from my long-overdue update. Thank goodness I am excited about sharing my latest pieces!
I made a special trip to Blacksburg on Saturday in order to document artwork that remains in my Newport studio. It was a tricky process without decent lighting and with 12 dead camera batteries, but I ended up with some nice photos. A few pieces didn't have a single worthwhile shot, so I'll have to return another day better equipped. With this documentation session, my website is now up to date. I have changed the "Fabrics" gallery to "Silhouette" because my latest direction with fabric is more whimsical and not addressing gender issues. Also, there is an entirely new SCULPTURE gallery, so check it out!!
I also drove to Kentucky on Tuesday to deliver my portrait, Cosmetic Appeal: Alluring to the Claypool-Young Art Gallery at Morehead State University. I love the gallery space and am excited about attending the closing reception on February 20. Busy busy ; )
Now for the art!
I fell in love with the patterns and textures of Japanese silk kimonos and obis while still at Tech. I contacted a woman in town whose daughter lives in Japan and periodically ships her bins and bins of these most GORGEOUS fabrics. Needless to say, I was excited when I received an invitation to sift through her endless selection, and ran over as soon as I had a class-free day. I found some incredible pieces, and it took a lot of willpower to withhold buying more (I suppose the fact that I don't have bottomless pockets helped a bit). The two pieces below include my first kimono and obi purchases.
Damned If You Don’t continues my exploration of gender socialization while bringing religion into play. I wanted to maintain the presence of the male gaze with the silhouettes to comment on the pressure women experience when approached by a man she refuses. Some guys are understanding gentleman, while others consider a woman's ability to assert her will to be a threat to their masculine power. Are we thus cursed and despised for having free will? Simultaneously, the piece addresses the Christian beliefs with which I grew up. There are guidelines and rules to follow in Christianity, boundaries that should never be crossed. Sins. While in college I experienced people and groups inspiringly fervent in their beliefs and adherence to these guidelines. I admired them for being so intensely zealous and committed to their beliefs. While I craved a place to belong, I knew it wasn't there. There was a simple phrase my friend Ben had said during one of our discussions about religion... something along the lines of "you're a grocery store Christian" (that's definitely not it, and he would make fun of me for being so close but so far yet again). In other words, I walk the aisles of Catholicism and take off the shelves what it is I like about the religion, but leave behind that which I don't care for. To me, life is a gift from God, not a Chinese finger trap that tempts with excitement, only to snare you the moment you play the game. A gift, to me, is something one gives with the expectation that it will be experienced and enjoyed. I don't believe the gift of life is intended to be squandered on worry and guilt; rather, I believe it is given to us to do with what we will, and the thanks/gift we give in return is our journey of self-discovery, desires, goals, ambitions, and ceaseless will to live the lives we are meant to live. Indeed, we are damned if we do not.
Whisper is the first project of many to come in my new direction. I have been so focused on thoughts pertaining to gender, sex, self-confidence, self-esteem...etc, that I have found it refreshing to listen to my mind when it's not in deep contemplation. This work is the result of listening to myself and connecting with my spirit/essence. It's an attempt to capture the intangible, and thus was an enjoyable challenge. It is also the most...honest? piece depicting who I am. Which sounds silly, considering that all the silhouettes in my work are of myself, and yes, my art reveals my thoughts and emotions honestly. But this piece shares something deeper and more personal - a place within myself to which only I go and rarely reveal to others. It's quiet and calm there. Peaceful. So still in silence. Yet on the breeze is the hint of a whisper.
New Portrait
December 15, 2007 03:18 PM
Lately I have been extremely anxious and unable to sleep because I have all this pent-up energy trying to burst through my skin. It used to be that when I was excited to go to my studio, I would arrive to find the temperature unbearably cold, or my tummy would rumble and claim it wanted a snack that was 15 minutes back in town. I ran out there yesterday to pick up some scarves, hats and mittens I stowed away for a moving date that never arrived, and found that I couldn't bring myself to leave without getting my hands on some form of material other than fabric. I just wanted to get messy!! So I turned to this portrait and decided I wouldn't leave without finishing it. If you compare it with the other Cosmetic Appeal Portraits, it's clearly very different. This piece is much more loose, with a sketch quality, whereas the others are tight and clean. I am always so picky and detail-oriented, but being away from my materials and a space that allows me to be messy created this great need for spontaneity and a quick rush of self-expression. I'm still not sure if I like the piece...it has a feeling of being finished, yet not being finished (if that makes sense to anyone else). Yet I DO like that quality, and I love that I was able to let myself go without beating myself up over "mistakes." When I did something I didn't like, I just laughed and said "oh well, I'll work with it!" Perhaps I'll get to another one next time I'm in town. For now, it's back to working with fabrics.
The BLOG!
December 05, 2007 08:40 PM
Sometimes it's enjoyable to share thoughts and interests, or helpful to write and work through the jumbled mess of the mind. Also, I like to be open to the thoughts, questions and critiques of others. That's the purpose of my blog page! Periodically, I'll be writing posts about projects I am currently working on, and including images so that you, with all your curiosity, can get a glimpse into my mind, see what I am working on, and feel free to toss some words my way.
I love to write and ramble on, so forgive me if I do so
I love to write and ramble on, so forgive me if I do so